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Something old, something new – fit the sixth: Florence And The Machine

In the context of the past, this is where I'd place Florence And The Machine...

Disclaimer: I’m not saying that Florence And The Machine consciously beg, borrow or have even heard the following...I mean, jeez, I’m like three times their age and even I haven’t heard some of the following. And I’m not saying that I haven’t missed someone really obvious, either. All I’m saying is that everything has a time and a place and a context, and this is what springs to my mind when I listen to Florence And The Machine rutting full-throttle through songs like 'Kiss With A Fist' and 'Girl With One Eye Open'. Even though I really haven’t heard The Fratellis.

two parts Kate Nash

Well, duh. Let’s get this out the way. 'Kiss With A Fist' is straightforwardly La Nash in stripy tights – um, which round these parts means Peggy Sue And The Pirates. We're talking the way Florence/Kate exhales and sighs between lines. We're talking the way she’s unashamed to spout nonsense – endearing nonsense, but nonsense nonetheless. We’re talking, we're talking...well, actually we’re talking about the way that Peggy Sue And The Pirates are criminally underrated (what, because they don’t flash their knickers like Karen O?).

one part The Fratellis

I'm not sure this is good. Maybe I’ve just shoved it in to indicate a certain element of twenty-something exuberance – like Yeah Yeah Yeahs with a lot of the jagged elements serrated down. All I know about The Fratellis is that my wife once indicated she thought she’d like to hear more, we spotted an obnoxious album cover of a large-breasted woman and there we left it. I could've equally as well put The Boys here – a 1978 powerpop combo that I was rather partial to, who were left smouldering in the wake of punk – and I would’ve known what I was talking about. But I didn’t.

one part Cyndi Lauper

THIS IS NOT AN INSULT. Cyndi has always possessed the most incredible voice, and no amount of wacky hair colouring and kooky videos can detract from this fact. (One suspects that in future years one might well be saying this about Florence And The Machine...or are we already?) Have a listen to Cyndi's pre-solo career band, Blue Angel. She absolutely holds back nothing. And yes, this definitely reminds me of the most endearing aspect of FatM’s rise to prominence: her ridiculously contagious energy and ability to hold a note beyond endurance. Gotta love that.

one part Sister Rosetta Thorpe

I'm listing the good Sister as a prime example of old school gospel – where the moment is all, and nothing else matters, except the elation and euphoria of singing in the name of the Lord. I have no idea whether Florence And The Machine sing in the name of the Lord – from where I'm standing, it sometimes seems they’re determined to single-handedly revive the oeuvre of plastic punk Toyah Wilcox (herself a righteous Christian) – but I think it's be kind of nice if they did. Make a difference from complaining how crap yr boy treats you, leastways.

one part Manic Street Preachers

I could’ve written Nirvana here, but give Cobain his due – he understood subtlety.

one part The White Stripes

...or is that The Libertines? I find it so hard to differentiate between these white boy guitar bands. Again, we’re talking energy. And again, I could’ve written 'The Clash' and then at least have known what I was talking about again. Even if I did hate them.

one part Jefferson Airplane

You can't ignore Grace Slick.

three parts American Idol

Oh, come on. Of course she’s three parts American Idol. If she hadn't been discovered singing Motown drunk in the toilets by Queens Of Noize, she'd have been discovered auditioning Motown sober in the BBC studios in front of Graham Norton. Now I think on it, she should’ve been on I’ll Do Anything. She would've made a perfect Nancy. THIS ISN’T AN INSULT. Nancy is one of the kick-ass creations of the stage.

one part Blondie

I'm thinking Blondie’s self-titled debut album; specifically, I’m thinking the 10th song on Blondie's debut album, 'Rifle Range'. Go on. Have a listen. Tell me that I'm wrong.

one part Placebo

Well, duh. 'Kiss With A First' is equal parts Kate Nash, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Placebo's debut album. Oh, wait a minute…

four parts Yeah Yeahs Yeahs

...that’s better.

sounds like its worth ignoring cheers

where is my barge poll?

Here's the thing...

I grew up on riot grrrl and Babes In Toyland, bands that knew how to drop out into silence and play innocent. Florence & The Machine just bellow the whole way through and 'Kiss With A Fist' is just a dumbed down version of 'He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)', which at least had the spooky girl-group thing going for it. This band is no better or worse than Queens Of Noize with a stage school background.

Welcome to 2009

The year Florence & The Machine enrages a million internet nerds on her way to the top of the charts. :D

more Kate Bush than Kate Nash

Kiss with a Fist isn't that representative. She's more Kate Bush than Kate Nash, and even one part Alison Goldfrapp. And seriously, *no* parts Blondie or the Fratellis.

white stripes?

didnt you do an autobiography?!
am i just missing the irony.

when did karen o flash her knickers?

i want pictorial evidence

Huzzah to Peggy Sue!

Apparently the pirates have gone missing these days.
Spare Parts and Superman are two of my favourite songs at the moment.

Nice to see

that you managed to crowbar a reference to their hitherto unappreciated brilliance into this unrelated article. Good work.

Sister Rosetta THARPE

It's THARPE not THORPE and for anyone unfamilar with the wonder that she was, this is well worth seeing, she was marvellous!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=dOmRm0-acJw

i see

everett is stil a cock.
well duhhhh

if everyone just stops being so annoyed with her....

and stops discussing her, then maybe she will just go away? She is purely hype and I'm pretty sure that no-one actually likes her, they just like talking about her, and how useless she is. Cut off the discussion threads and stop badmouthing her- it is only making the situation worse. In a few months, hopefully it will all have died down and she will have disappeared into obscurity.

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